Why was I even surprised?

I just watched The Skeleton Key.  Man, did it suck ass.  I'm not sure why I was even surprised.  The Skeleton Key was in my I'll-watch-it-when-it-premiers-on-cable category of movies.  Where does that rank, you ask?  Here, let me demonstrate:

1.  Counting the days until it gets released in the theatres.  Has it been released yet?  How 'bout now?  Now?  When's the earliest I can buy tickets? 

2.  Oh, has that been released already?  Let's go see it.

3.  Well, that's sounds kind of interesting. . .let's give it a whirl while it's still on the big screen.

4.  Meh.  I'll wait until it comes out on DVD.  But as SOON as it comes out, I'm buying it sight unseen.

5.  Hmmm. . .looks kind it could be kind of good,  but I won't be shelling out money for it.  I'll look out for it when it comes on Saturday night on whatever premium channel premiers it.

6.  Well, if it's on a premium channel, and I've got nothing else better to do, I guess I'll give it a whirl.

7.  Maybe if I were bed-ridden. . .

8.  Not in a million years, buddy.

So that's my ranking for waiting to see a movie.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who has such a ranking process, right? 

Anyway, back to the crapfest that was The Skeleton Key.  So basically, this movie was about a single-gal who has a thing for hospice care taking on a new client who lives with his weirdo wife in a haunted house.  She discovers hoodoo is afoot and attempts to beat the hoodist at her own game by buying and using hoodoo paraphernalia.  Yeah, it's as bad as it sounds.

I heartily do NOT recommend this movie, even if you're in traction and will be unable to move for six months.  Seriously, just watch some paint dry and save your sanity.

Explore posts in the same categories: Movies, Personal thoughts, The Skeleton Key

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